So I apologise in advance for this rant..but sometimes you just need to get things out- y’a know?!
It really feels like sometimes one little head is not nearly big enough for all the thoughts, stress and emotions that go on inside there! How can 1 little brain think so many different things all at the same time? It’s like when you are so super sleepy and snuggle down in your covers and then BOOM you suddenly remember everything you forgot to do that day, you start panicking about everything you want to achieve and then you can kiss goodbye to that restful nights sleep you were so looking forward to!
So a bit of a run down/catch up on my life at the moment.
Work is going really well, like stupidly well. I actually enjoy going in in the morning, the thought of being at my desk doesn’t fill me with dread and terror. Sounds great huh? Nope. As a worrier that just makes me terrified that if this is going so well then what is going to suffer? If I am enjoying going to work does that then make me a bad parent as, as a woman, shouldn’t I want to stay at home with my kids all day, bake cakes and spend time with them? If I am enjoying work so much does that mean that I am avoiding something else? Does that mean that I won’t have time to do other things- like blog?
You can see that my mind works in stupid, crazy, ridiculous ways. It is so simple to say “Look just enjoy it, not everyone loves their job” But hey, nothing is ever that easy, not when you are me!
Blogging is going relatively well. When I say relatively I mean I am loving it. I love having something of my own, talking to all you lovely fellow bloggers and love being a part of something. I am just struggling to organise my already busy life, to fit this is as much as I would like. Before I started I had no idea how time consuming blogging actually was. I had no idea that photos were so important, no idea that you had to really think about what you are writing and how to structure your posts. I also find it really hard to put myself in a category. I just kinda write about whatever I am thinking or feeling. But should I stick to something a bit more specific? Who knows…at the moment I am just gonna go with it and see what happens!
I got a new camera last week, to try and help with photos. I am just looking forward to getting to grips with it all! Please bare with me whilst I practice though, there may be a few duds in there for a while. Huhh…maybe like the one featured in the post. Ha!
Home-life is a little harder for me, things are getting so much better with Andy, but things don’t just magically fix overnight; and as you can imagine with my overactive brain it always makes things harder. All I can do is give it 110% and hope for the best. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone fucks up. I am only human, I suppose it all boils down to whether or not you can deal with the consequences, if you can move forward and not drag it with you. I know this sounds very cryptic, I am sorry! I want to be honest with you but I just don’t think I am ready yet.
Kids are kids. My little boy is turning into a little teenager already, at the grand old age of 7 thinks he knows everything and learning to combat the attitude is a learning curve for us all! Being a full-time working mum of 2 is always hard, there is so much pressure from everyone to parent differently. Whether it is what you put in their lunch-box or how much quality time you spend with them. How do you know what’s right? I try to spend as much time with them as I can, but it’s hard y’a know. Having a 7 year old boy and a 2 year old girl means that they both want to do very different things. The games are different, the interaction is different. How do you split your time fairly? I dunno, is there ever a right answer? PLEASE tell me if there is, ‘cos I don’t know it!
Fitness is going so well! I can’t believe after all my years of sofa slumping I am actually enjoying going to the gym and working out. I hate seeing people preaching about going to the gym, but I seem to have caught the bug! I have started personal training 4 times a week for the next 6 weeks and it’s fantastic. I have lost over a stone in total since October, gone down a dress size and have so much more confidence. It’s a hard slog but so worth it. I sleep better, have bags more energy and feel so much better in myself. I just hope that I can keep it up..sometimes the sofa is just so damn comfy though, I have one of those big leather corner sofas that you can just curl up in the corner and slowly fade away into blissful slumber…paired with a big bar of Cadbury’s whole nut. I’m a gonner!
Going completely off topic here, as I am writing this I just heard that Alan Rickman has passed away, at the young age of 69. This is so sad! I am a MASSIVE Harry Potter fan. Like embarrasingly so. I have tattoo’s and everything. So I just want to take this minute to say, Rest in Peace you incredibly talented, wonderful man. You brought so much happiness to my life.
Until next time,